Guru Ratings
Ron Louis
Bad.
Remember my ratings criteria. I’m not judging these gurus on “global” or moral values, but very specific criteria. Many of my favorite books would be rated “bad” by my criteria for self-help (probably, because they are not self-help books). My ratings don’t reflect how well an author met his own goals, but how well they met my criteria for useful, accurate self-help.
How to Succeed with Women (1998)
Authors Ron Louis and David Copeland claim “years of research” but don’t cite any of it. Like most seduction gurus, they pander to male insecurities and female stereotypes.
There isn’t yet a science of seduction, so snake oil rules the field. This book practically admits it up front:
. . .don’t run mental arguments with us as you read [this book]. Pretend what we are saying is true and try it out, at least for a while, and see how something new works for you.
Amazing. They advise against critical thinking. This is how snake oil gets sold.
Of course, plenty of what they say is wise:
- You won’t get laid because you are nice.
- You won’t get laid by just “being yourself.”
- You won’t get laid for being her therapist.
- Who women say they want and who they fuck are often different.
- Dating is not fair. The man has to pursue.
- Begging won’t get you laid.
- You’ll get turned down a lot. Don’t let it get to you.
- Dress with confidence and style.
- Improve your posture.
- Pay attention to details in everything, because women sure do.
- Drive a nice car.
- Keep your apartment clean.
- Joke and flirt. Have fun.
- Don’t use bathroom jokes.
- Don’t ask her out without a date plan in mind. Be decisive.
- Romance should be exciting. Every detail should be tailored to fit her.
- Be generous.
- Listen to her.
- Don’t talk about other women during sex.
That’s all fine. Maybe we need to be reminded of those things at times. But the book is also filled with nonsense:
- Carry a stuffed animal with you.
- Carry a baby with you.
- Use hand puppets. [Yes, hand puppets.]
- Call a woman a “goddess” (as in “banking teller goddess.”
- Let yourself be stood up three times in a row, but no more.
- Always keep phone calls short.
Much of the book is systematic. Take her on a priming date. Follow this checklist. Then take her on a seduction date. Follow this checklist. Etc.
It’s so systematic and gimmicky, the authors call their methods “technology.” But humans and relationships are too complicated for that, as anyone with dating experience can tell you. But of course, this book is written to people without much dating experience.
So, the book has advice that is either obvious or nonsense. Surely, it could help some men. But not many.